After I mentioned that I coached debate on the side, my cousin asked me the question I’d been waiting and yearning to hear out in the wild: “How does one persuade another in this day and age?” My answer wasn’t great. This post is what I wish I’d said—and the structure I’ve seen work over and over again.

If I could go back in time, I would tell graduate assistant Jacob, “Hey, it’s okay if you don’t know everything.” I’m sure he would probably respond, “Hey, thanks, have you tried telling the baby to pause more?”